If you’re a lovebird or hopeless romantic, you might as well close this tab right now because this article is NOT for you. It’s January 15th, you’re walking through Walmart trying to see if Natty Light or Ramen is on sale, because at this point that’s all you can afford, when a barrage of pinkish colors and romance hits you in the face harder than that stats exam last week. Gross – the Valentines Day Isle. Learn from me; I spent two years in college in a long term relationship –When I got out (see: escaped) the thought of Valentines day made me want to hide underneath my sheets until the dreaded holiday passed.
Here’s the thing though; those sappy couples holding hands in the hallway think Valentines day is about them, but they’ve got it all wrong. Valentines day is the night when all the couples hide away at their romantic picnics and candlelight dinners, while we, the cynics own the night. It’s the one night a year when everyone who is single has two choices; 1) Be sad and curl up in a ball wishing you brought your cat to college, or 2) Get out there with all the other single people and party your ass off. Oh and you saved so much money this year. Do you have any idea how much those giant oversized Teddy bears cost? Me neither! But I assume it’s a lot. Now get out there and spend that money on yourself. Go to a house party, a club, out with your friends. Hell if you’re lucky, you just might even meet someone special who’s just as cynical as you are. Then the next morning you strut your stuff back over to Walmart and you buy all those heart shaped chocolates; because guess what! It’s on sale now too. Take that Cupid.